The Job I Want

A very nice, intelligent yet baffled person was complaining to me the other day that they do not have the job they want. They are waiting for it and working toward it, but it is not there. They told me they don’t understand why this is happening. They have asked the universe, imagined it in their mind, and worked hard to attain what they wanted. They were telling me their parents always expected them to do a certain job, be married, by 27, their significant other has feelings about how they should be living their life, and how responsible this person felt for managing how she handles all of them individually. I realized something very important. It was something possibly life changing for them and for me. It took me right back to a dream I had the night before. I was life coaching my father. This was strange because he would have never agreed to life coaching and I was saying some pretty challenging things to him. Something that stuck out to me was when I said “Dad, you cannot take responsibility for other people’s feelings.” He turned and smiled at me. I awoke and wondered what this all meant. Upon reviewing it, I had an idea. I was giving a message to him that was clearly for me. You cannot take responsibility for other people’s feelings. So, I am talking to this person, all the while playing this dream/movie back in my head having an epiphany. I must have looked humorous as I watched it all unfold before me. I then said to the person, “It sounds like you are taking responsibility for other people’s feelings?” “Maybe the job you want hasn’t come to you yet because taking responsibility for everyone else’s feelings is a FULL TIME JOB!” The look on their face was priceless, I felt like I was in one of those credit card commercials. Even better, the look on my face was the same that this all came together in such a synchronistic way, my dreams marrying my coaching. We can only be responsible for ourselves and our feelings. Trying to manage other people, their feelings, thoughts and emotions are doing just that…trying. Imagine if you were able to be your true self and authentic with everyone in your life. Clearing out all of those feelings of responsibility would feel like shedding a fur coat in summer. Once cleared, this opens you self up to a world of possibilities that can now come in. Better yet, possibilities that align more with your values and what you want, not what you have been getting. I don’t know about you, but it has been exhausting feeling responsible for people’s feelings in my life, and I chose the clear canvas so I can start painting the picture I want!