Randy Spelling, Life Coach | Being in Flow Life Coaching

I am sitting here contemplating what it is like to wait.  My wife, who is due with our first child, is a while overdue.  Everything is fine and I am told that this is normal with first time moms.  That being said, there has been a couple weeks of what has felt like long periods of waiting.  I have now had the experience of waiting for a big event and it has me thinking about all the times I have waited for big events.  Whether it is something I am looking forward to like a trip, wedding, a dinner, etc…or something I am not looking forward to like a trip to the dentist or doing something I am terrified of doing, there are always moments or days that go by that are spent waiting.  Waiting for the moment to be here.  Waiting, depending on what it is, for the moment to be over.  The moment itself is so short compared to the before and after.

I have realized that by “waiting” for these moments I am so focused on what is not here yet, that I take myself out of present moment and could possibly miss the wonderful journey that goes along with these big events.  Yes the events themselves may be special but it seems the time before the events is when I feel most alive.  I also forget how special the time is leading up to something.

In a world of instant gratification, waiting can seem like an eternity.  I have fallen into the trap sometimes (I going to be bold and say I am not alone on this one) of thinking that once a certain event comes or once I just have ________, then I will be happy.  Example:  Once I am on vacation and sitting on the beach, everything will be great.  Life will be effortless and all stresses will be gone.   Has anyone felt this feeling before?

I realize that it is a carrot dangling in front of my face, rarely ever to be bitten just a cruel tease.  I have dreamt of being on vacation on a tropical beach somewhere.  I have been on the beach and I have come back from that beach and still felt the longing for certain things.  What I have realized is that in waiting and looking “forward” to something, I am searching outside of myself to find something that lies within.  Less stress, more peace, deeper sense of happiness, you name it I have felt it.

Now I have also gone to that same beach feeling happy, fulfilled, unstressed and peaceful and I realized that when I was there it didn’t matter where I was because whether I was on vacation or at home, the feeling I had been searching for was not outside me.  It was not at some destination but rather inside of me.

Now that I have written this,  I wait for the baby to come no longer stressed and will cherish each precious moment before, during and after the event knowing that the peace I seek dwells inside of me just as what you seek in life dwells and lives fully and completely within you.

Thanks for letting me share

A sailing metaphor feels appropriate for this although I must admit, I do not sail and have not sailed much before!!  I guess my imagination will really have to carry me with this one!!

What I do know is that for a sailboat you need wind to propel you forward.  This theory is akin to life.  Sometimes we feel a huge wind in our sails and the boat that is you sails very smoothly and quickly.  Then there are other times, times when there is absolutely no wind and your boat may feel stuck.  What may be even worse is being stuck out at sea with no wind feeling as if you are in the middle of no where; no land in sight.

So what do you do in these times where there isn’t life’s wind to propel you forward?

Here are a list of possibilities stated very simply:

1) Trust that there will be wind once again.

2) Get creative.  There are more ways to move forward and get to where you want to go than the obvious

3) Ask for help.  This doesn’t mean the boat is weak just because it may need more than one person to get it back sailing again.

4) Last but not least, if you know where you want to go and you are not moving at all, you can get out the oars and row!!

Forward movement is of course desired.  However, even backward or linear motion may serve a purpose in your life so make sure not to judge the directions you have moved in.  Judging yourself does NOT help.  It actually acts as an anchor to either keep you in place or may even sink you ship.  We don’t want that!!   Hold steadfast to the direction you want to move in.

Trust for the wind in your life to come.  Believe that it is there.  Get creative using your resources. If you are still having trouble, ask for help.

If things aren’t going the way that you want them to and you believe in where you want to go then do not give up and start moving closer to your destination.  Once you have moved even a little bit closer….the destination does not seem as far!

I am sitting down thinking of what I would like to write and the word image popped up.  I’m thinking, great, image of what?  Am I supposed to write about mental imaging and how that can really help to show where one wants to be and how to get there using an image?

Then the answer came and it was something a little closer to home and more personal.  The image of self.

I was born and raised in the capitol of image and stressed the importance of it.  Yes, Hollywood!  Los Angeles where there are billboards everywhere portraying an external image whether it is alcohol, fancy cars or suggestions of a certain life style.  I can honestly say that growing up around this sort of thing where there is so much emphasis on what you have or what you look like does not leave much room for an internal importance and focus on internal life.  Yet, it’s there. No matter how much money you have or don’t have, what you look like or how your life looks on the outside, you still have to go to bed at night in your body with yourself.  In the morning, that mirror still beckons and upon closer look there is a world inside just waiting to be discovered.

We  live in a society of more, bigger, better.  It is very hard then to feel that who you are and what you have is enough.  DO YOU FEEL THAT WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW IS ENOUGH?  DO YOU FEEL RICH; ABUNDANT WITH THE STRENGTHS AND SPECIALNESS YOU POSSESS?

If your answer is no, do not worry.  You are joined by 90% of most people in this country.

If there is worry or concern about how others may perceive you or judge you, l e t  i t  g o! You can say to yourself, “I am not here for the opinion of others, I am here for me. This is my life and I am choosing to live it in the way that makes me happy and brings me joy.”

The more power and the more focus you give things outside of you, the bigger and more consuming they become…in contrast making yourself smaller.

The only image that matters in terms of perception is how you see yourself.  I wonder what kind of human beings we would be if this is what we were taught.  If we were shown how to appreciate ourselves and matter to ourselves instead of needing to look a certain way and please all the other people around us.

You cannot change what has happened in the past…but you can absolutely change what happens from this point forward.

Nurture your inner world with love, kindness, abundance and acceptance.  If you are not happy with the image you currently hold of yourself, change the image in your mind to what you want to see and then let yourself act from the image you have created in your mind.

Things are starting to shift from outside to inside and it is time to find the light that shines with in instead of searching for a reflection that doesn’t even exist with out…

There is so much going on right now on the planet, it is difficult to not feel that what goes on in my life on a daily basis is minuscule in comparison to Japan, Libya, and all the happenings across the globe.  It is when there is so much going on that I am reminded of how important our uni-verse is considering we are all a part of the same one verse.  We are all here together so what one person feels and experiences, energetically, has a ripple effect throughout the planet.

I am hearing a commonality with so many of my clients lately.  I am hearing a call to purpose.  At least 6 times a week, I hear people say that they want to find their true purpose.  They feel as if they are living their lives but something is missing.  The feeling of being here for “more” and to make more of a difference is embedded in them.  Now is the time to feel good about what you are doing and who you are as a being, not judging yourself for not doing enough.  Most importantly, not judging yourself for not being enough. Shifting the perceptions of “not enough” into everything you do in every moment is enough can have magnanimous effects in your life, how you feel about yourself and in turn what you represent to everyone you come into contact with.

I AM hearing your call to feel more purposeful in all that you do.

I am responding with a series of tele-classes and even…drum roll please…small (under 10 people) Skype groups where we can all see each other and interact.  A virtual group setting if you will.  I think it’s pretty cool in this day and age what technology can allow so no matter where in the world you are, you can participate!  There will be different days and times so please email me to find out more information about these offerings.  I might also be teaming up with someone very special for one of these!

“Being your own puzzle and fitting in the pieces” will cover-

-Seing yourself and what you experience in a lighter, more balanced way

-If life was a game, would you take it as seriously?

-learning and finding tools to complete the puzzle that you wish to see manifest

-bringing tossed out pieces of your life back into harmony to fit in to complete the puzzle

“Living your purpose” will cover -

-defining what purpose means to you

-understanding where this sense of purpose comes from and how to balance the longing

-finding out what your purpose is and acting on it…right now

-feeling good about all that you have to offer and how to create from that feeling of self love

I want to thank you for being a part of my newsletter and for your continued interest in Being in Flow.  You wanting to live the best life you possibly can allows me to keep creating with excitement and passion.

May this week be filled with a sense of calm, peace and purpose for you.

-Randy

In the wake of rushing water, strong earthquakes, many deaths and a lot of devastation, I am writing this to remind all of us including myself just how precious life is.  I realized this over the past few days how easy it is to take things for granted.  Even more, how quickly things come and go.  The earthquake and tsunami in Japan happned so quickly and then as the water subsided, how slowly the process is to recover from.  It is a true expansion and contraction.  The planet is certainly expanding and contracting all over the world just as we are in our daily lives.

I realized how easy it is to take things fro granted.  I go about my day using my computer, the phone, eating breakfast, hugging my dog, kissing my wife goodbye for the day, etc…  This becomes a part of the everyday routine without realizing that each and every time I do that, it is amazing and a possibility that I will not be able to do it in the same way ever again.  Many times I hear people complain about not being as present as they would like to be.  This is a helpful hint to bring yourself into the present moment.  Throughout the day even a simple few breaths in and out and bringing your awareness within yourself as opposed to outside of yourself can greatly help to achieve presence.  Instead of running around from thing to thing bouncing like a ping pong ball, stop and look around.  Act as if you are experiencing all the things that you normally do for the very first time.  Eating a sandwich, drinking some water, brushing your teeth, taking a walk, exercising, driving a car.  All of these things can be enjoyable and fun.  Household chores, running errands, giving your loved ones a gentle embrace.  All of these activities we normally take for granted on a minute by minute basis.

Well, What if you didn’t take any of this for granted?  What if you appreciated your life happenings moment to moment?  Would that change anything in your life?  Would it change your perceptions about your daily life?

I ask you, if you feel compelled to do so, try this during one day this week.  Heck, try it now for the rest of the day.  If a wave came tomorrow and wiped out all that you knew, would you have lived today on the planet the way that is of your highest intention?  If not, BE your highest self made manifest today.

Please also take a moment and send some love and healing energy to Japan and all the places around the world that were affected.  This is the part that you can play that helps, even energetically.

My utmost thanks to you for reading this and for being interested in what I have to say.  Thank you.