What are YOU avoiding?
An uncomfortable situation – “I’ll deal with it later”.
A trip to the dentist – “I can skip this appointment”.
I’m not happy in my relationship or my career – “Maybe one day it will change”.
Dealing with my feelings from the past – Let’s take something, numb myself, busy myself or skip over that so I don’t have to feel it.
Avoidance is something that many people become accustom too. Whether a feeling or situation is too intense, too painful or brings one face-to- face with their fears. Avoidance can become a coping mechanism that is a ticking time bomb.
Take addiction for instance. Most of the addiction cases I see as a Life Coach all have some level of avoidance buried deep within them – avoidance of childhood situations, avoidance of feeling the gravity of hurtful relationships, or avoidance of experiences that happened in the past and have not been fully worked through yet. Addiction is a symptom of something much deeper. That something is usually avoided, hence why the addiction crops up in the first place.
I’m here to tell you (although I’m sure you already know this on some level so maybe this is just a reminder), that whatever you are avoiding, it is still there and needs to be dealt with. The longer you wait, the more it builds and gains strength. We need to deal with all of the things we avoid, otherwise we will never complete our puzzle. There will always be pieces of us that are astray, waiting to be put back in.
Here is the Challenge for this week:
Realize one thing that you are avoiding. Once you are aware of this thing you are avoiding, ask yourself these questions:
“What do I need to do in order to not avoid this anymore?”
“Do I need someone else’s help?”
“Do I need to perceive this situation differently than how I have been looking at it in order to deal with it?”
“If so, how?”
Then, make a pact with yourself that you will do this today. If not today, carve out a time this week during which you will start the process of taking care of this thing, situation, person or emotion that you have been avoiding.
Do you know what an opposite word of avoidance is? CONNECTION. That’s right. If you are avoiding something, then that is a part of yourself you are not connected to. Dealing with anything you are avoiding will bring connection – maybe with others – but more importantly to yourself. When we are fully connected to ourselves, avoidance is not an issue anymore.
Look at it from this perspective: This is a gift that you are giving yourself this week.
You aren’t torturing yourself here. You are dealing with something that you have been avoiding because you are choosing to love yourself more and because you have vowed that right now is the time to do this. Give yourself this gift. I promise you, it will pay off in a multitude of ways both tangible and intangible.
Please share with me how this process goes for you. I am very interested in hearing your story. Maybe I can even do a follow up blog and share someone’s story after following this process (With your permission of course).
Remember: when we walk through the space contained in A-Void, we can come back without A-Void at all.