I was talking with some friends yesterday about how life has become incredibly fast paced. It seems like we move from one thing to another so quickly, just like searching for information on the web. Someone might want to buy something because he or she momentarily sees the value in it. But then they get it and a few days later they are on to the next thing; much like children can be at Christmas when they have several gifts to open.
Then there is the value we place on ourselves as well as other people. Value is a word that isn’t “valued” enough. We all hear catch phrases in the self-help and spiritual circles such as grace, forgiveness, and acceptance. It seems that value is left out. I want to take this underdog and shine some light on it so hopefully you can see how to make value a part of our daily practice.
It may be because I am a Life Coach, but I run into people not valuing themselves on a daily basis. It might creep in subtly as a subconscious thought that whispers ever so slyly in the mind, “What you have to offer isn’t good enough.” It might take the form of comparison such as, “That person is so comfortable in that part of their lives and I am not, what’s wrong with me?”
How do we shift this? First, you have to know where it comes from. You have experienced devaluation somewhere in your past, heard it from someone close to you or around you and bought into it. You drank the kool-aid, so-to-speak, and all of that unnatural chemical dye is still in your body wreaking havoc and coloring how you view yourself. Are you ready to let this go? Is this serving you in any way to keep this outdated program running your life, halting you from recognizing your own value and worth as the wonderful being you are? If not, it’s time for you to upgrade. Do you want to be able to value other people? Do you want other people to value you? You have to start with yourself and learn how to value yourself, the rest will follow. Here are some steps you can take for finding the value in you:
1. Be aware of any thoughts that are working against you
Anytime you have thoughts that pop up on your “not valuing myself” radar, listen to them and simply acknowledge that you are having these thoughts. Ask yourself if these thoughts match how you want to view yourself. If they don’t match, then change the thoughts to align with true statements about yourself that create value and self worth. You can even say this out loud (You get extra points if you say these around someone so they really think you are crazy!). Make a declaration about yourself. Why not? The declarations you have had about devaluing yourself haven’t been working so far, have they?
2. Find the value that you bring in each moment
Sound lofty? Be as present as you can in each moment by reminding yourself that all things happen in complete synchronicity. Everything that happens in life is in flow, even at the tough and not so pretty times. Take the present moment to enjoy the experience you are in. Find the value in you. When you can show up fully, you create value beyond measure. Others will feel it and you will too.
3. Find value in each person
I may be lobbing a hard to swallow concept over to you, but even your worst enemy can be your biggest teacher. There is value in each person, even if we cannot fathom it in the moment. Start to look at each person you come into contact with as having value. Each person plays his part on this stage we call life. It can be Shakespearian at times but hey, isn’t that the fun? Maybe if the Montagues and Capulets could see each other’s value in their respective lives, the play would have turned out differently.
Value yourself in all the ways you can. Value others in all the ways you can. Maybe, just maybe, we can evolve to a place where we can value each other and what we bring to each other’s lives.
Of course, it all starts with you.