The brick wall of frustration.
I can spiritualize my way out of the answer, but any of you who have felt this before know the jaw clenching, body tightening, fist squeezing feeling frustration brings, leaving an unseen welt on the noggin from bumping into that proverbial brick wall.
Something isn’t happening the way I want it to happen = FRUSTRATION
Someone isn’t doing what I want them to do = FRUSTRATION
Something isn’t happening in the timing that I want it to happen in = FRUSTRATION
So, do we move through the brick wall with our force and might? I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of pushing, hitting and exerting myself in that way. I burn my energy doing this and then I find myself depleted, hungry and thirsty while still feeling the same way = FRUSTRATED.
A New Perspective
What if frustration was simply a messenger? A delivery method much like mashed potatoes can be just a delivery vehicle for a deep well of delicious butter? (At least how I eat them!)
Frustration is showing up either tapping you on the shoulder or hitting you over the head like a ton of bricks. If you try and move through it or make it go away, you are missing the point. It is letting you know that instead of going right through the wall, there is something you are not seeing. There might be another access point. One that may require much less energy and fatigue. There are a few ways of dealing with frustration that can shift your relationship to it, allowing a different outcome.
Here are 3 ways of listening to the message of frustration:
1) Accept it
Accept the situation by accepting what is and making peace with it. One way of doing this is by feeling all the feelings associated with not being able to change or control the outcome. Ask yourself: “What does fully accepting this feel like right now?” Feel it completely. Make peace with it. Dissolve the energy behind it so it can flow more freely.
2) Find a Different Path
Since the brut force isn’t working and only leaving you exhausted, find a different approach. Ask yourself what you can do to take a different path; a different approach all together. What would that look like? It you keep running into a brick wall, maybe it is time to do something different. Even if it isn’t the final answer, it will lead you to a new vantage point – one that will most certainly give you a different perspective. Once you have a new perspective, you have new sight or “in” sight.
3) Don’t Change the Situation. Change Yourself
You might not be able to change the situation. For instance, if it’s a relationship that is causing you frustration, you might not be able to change the relationship or person you are in the relationship with. If you are only viewing it as “I am so frustrated with them,” in turn, you will stay frustrated because you are expecting something different from them. And you already know you cannot change anyone. Plus, this isn’t about the other person so much as your own inner work. This is the kind of work that I lead people to as a Life Coach. What you can do is ask for something different from yourself. Ask yourself what you can change in the relationship or situation you are in and then follow the answer you get.
All of this at the end of the day is “self” work and when frustration comes up, it is pointing you in the direction of where you need to look by asking these questions and doing something different within you.
So, the next time you feel frustrated, instead of running face first into the wall, stand back, scratch your head and ask what this oh-so-powerful messenger is trying to tell you. Who knows. It may unlock a very important piece of the puzzle you have been searching for.