Communication is probably single handedly the most important tool that we have as human beings to express our selves. Many times, when things seem unbalanced in a relationship, there can almost always be an arrow pointing to communication. This will be one of a series of blogs I write about communication because it is so nutrient rich.

Have you ever been frustrated with someone else’s communication? Maybe you wish they said things more succinctly. Maybe you wish they expressed more emotion so you really felt the other person behind their words. Maybe you wish they could listen better so you can feel heard. This last one is the biggest source of miscommunication. Think of a situation or relationship that you would desire better communication in. Ask yourself “what did I want or what do I want to receive from that communication?”

Communication keeps things running like a well oiled machine. Take away the communication, (the oil) and parts break down. Communication takes practice and awareness of self. Knowing that you want to communicate more effectively and/or knowing that you would like to receive better communication means you have already set the communication ship in motion!

Here are a few tangible tips for better communication:

1) Giving better communication yourself
Lead by example. Mirroring for someone what it is you are looking for gives them an insight into how they can better communicate with you. This may take some getting used to. Remember, you cannot change anybody else but you can change yourself and how you interact with others. This, in turn, allows them a space to change how it is they interact with you because you are requiring something different.

2) Know what it is you are looking for in a situation
Being aware of what it is you are feeling and what it is you are looking for can be a great compass for the other person or persons. Again, being as clear as possible within yourself will illuminate your path and send a beacon out to others of where you are at so they can possibly meet you.

3) Use your words and own your feelings
Be present with what it is you are saying and feeling. Slowing down, taking your time to really choose every word that you want to say will slow your mind down to be more aligned with your heart.

Owning your own feelings is powerful and no one can take your feelings away from you.
You can also say how you feel without blaming anyone else.

4) Pictures are worth a 1000 words
If someone else is not ‘getting it’, Use an analogy of something they may relate to. Putting it in their terms might just be the catalyst for understanding.

Communication can be responsible for cohesive team work and amazing transformation. Think of many people working together to construct a building. With clear and concise communication, that building can be erected very quickly. However, miscommunication can cause that same building to crumble in an instant.

If you want better communication in your life, be the ultimate communicator by changing how you communicate to others.

For more helpful hints about this topic, please contact me and reference communication. You can also contact me regarding any other life skills you are choosing to develop.

Randy Spelling BPC
310 445-8644