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Talking To Myself

by Randy Spelling | Lessons, Life Coaching | 0 comments

Self Talk

Randy:  Ok, I have had enough of you.  I am not sure exactly what’s going on right now, but I do know that something needs to change.

Mood: Why are you telling me?  Change what you want to change.

Randy:  It’s your fault.  I am reacting because of you.

Mood: HA!  It’s your fault.  Why are you blaming me?

Randy: For days now, I have felt heavy, frustrated and annoyed.  This is not my normal MO so I know this is your fault.

Mood: Here we go blaming again.  I know you are but what am I?

Randy: Seriously?

Mood: Yes, seriously.  Oh, now you want to see if I am serious, yet you keep blaming me for being the one who is too serious lately.  Maybe I should ask you – Seriously?

Randy: I can’t even believe I am talking to you right now.  Even though I suggest that talking to parts of the self is healthy, this feels pretty crazy!  I don’t know what I am taking so seriously.  Life. Day in Day out shit. Life. You don’t have to tell me to not take things so seriously, ok. I am a Life Coach. I am constantly working on myself and helping others.  I know this!

Mood:  Well, if you know it, why are you still wrapped up in it?

Randy: Good Question. Day to day stressors, anticipation of future events and being busy has clouded what is important. I can’t seem to step out of it.

Mood: So Mr. Life Coach, are you saying you don’t know what’s important and how to see that?

Randy: Of course I know what is important. Don’t patronize me!

Mood: And here I thought I am the one getting all the blame for how I am acting.  Listen to yourself.  Look in the mirror buddy.

Randy: Touché. I just want to be able to blame you, ok? It’s easier. I want to be able to blame somebody.

Mood: Where does that get you?

Randy: Nowhere. But still, I look to you because I don’t want to take responsibility.  Sometimes, I just don’t want to take responsibility.

Mood: What happens if you do?

Randy:  Then I have to deal with it.  I guess it’s comfortable to sit in my own stew.  I want to be out of it, but something about the hot pot seems comforting, empowering, brooding and delicious in a weird, ominous sort of way.

Mood: Forget the subtext, what are you really saying?

Randy: No wonder I don’t choose to talk to you much.  You’re like a combination of a snarky therapist and that “know it all” annoying friend.

Mood:  Yeah yeah.  It’s hard being me.  Actually, it sounds like it’s hard being you!

Randy: But it isn’t hard being me. Actually, I like the me who I have become more than I ever have.  I just don’t like how I have been feeling the last few days and how I can’t seem to get out of it.

Mood: Maybe you don’t need to “get out” of anything.  Maybe you need to get “into” something?

Randy: I have been entrenched in the minutia.  The things that, when I really check in with myself, don’t matter.  I have started letting them matter and they have become my focus.  I need to switch my focus. How did I get off track?

Mood: It happens Randy.  You are human.  When did you become such a perfectionist?  Sometimes you need to see things in a certain way and feel things in a certain way to then redefine what choices you want to make.  Remember, you have the ability to empower what it is you want in each moment.  Small, minuscule things that stress you out. Or bigger things. More important things that bring you fulfillment and serenity.

Randy: Wow Mood.  You are so right.  Even hearing this lifts the energy I’ve been feeling and brings things into perspective.  Why don’t I talk to you more often?

Mood: If you haven’t been feeling the way you have been feeling lately, you would never have been desperate enough to stop and have this conversation with me.  It all has purpose Randy.  But I know you already know that.

Randy: Wait, who am I talking to right now?

Mood:  You can call me mood.  You can call me whatever you would like.  I don’t care much for names as it’s all infinite anyway. Remember, I’m always here for you, even when you forget.  You can always talk to me. Just make time and still yourself. I love you.

Randy: Thank you.  Thank you so much for listening.

Mood: I wasn’t the one listening.  YOU WERE…

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