I am sitting here contemplating what it is like to wait. My wife, who is due with our first child, is a while overdue. Everything is fine and I am told that this is normal with first time moms. That being said, there has been a couple weeks of what has felt like long periods of waiting. I have now had the experience of waiting for a big event and it has me thinking about all the times I have waited for big events. Whether it is something I am looking forward to like a trip, wedding, a dinner, etc…or something I am not looking forward to like a trip to the dentist or doing something I am terrified of doing, there are always moments or days that go by that are spent waiting. Waiting for the moment to be here. Waiting, depending on what it is, for the moment to be over. The moment itself is so short compared to the before and after.
I have realized that by “waiting” for these moments I am so focused on what is not here yet, that I take myself out of present moment and could possibly miss the wonderful journey that goes along with these big events. Yes the events themselves may be special but it seems the time before the events is when I feel most alive. I also forget how special the time is leading up to something.
In a world of instant gratification, waiting can seem like an eternity. I have fallen into the trap sometimes (I going to be bold and say I am not alone on this one) of thinking that once a certain event comes or once I just have ________, then I will be happy. Example: Once I am on vacation and sitting on the beach, everything will be great. Life will be effortless and all stresses will be gone. Has anyone felt this feeling before?
I realize that it is a carrot dangling in front of my face, rarely ever to be bitten just a cruel tease. I have dreamt of being on vacation on a tropical beach somewhere. I have been on the beach and I have come back from that beach and still felt the longing for certain things. What I have realized is that in waiting and looking “forward” to something, I am searching outside of myself to find something that lies within. Less stress, more peace, deeper sense of happiness, you name it I have felt it.